Amid the panic, the fear, the anxiety, the staying inside, and the cancellation of just about everything, yours truly celebrates a birthday this week. To commemorate the occasion, I thought I would list the things for which I am grateful, but who has that kind of time?
Then I thought of the fifty things I would do while the world shuts down. Then I remembered that I have a job and doing that while making sure the four kids are connected to their schools and doing their online assignments might all just be a bit much, so I let that idea go too.
So I decided to make a list of the fifty people who have influenced me the most in my adult life. I took brothers and sisters out of the mix. Partly because they would take up a fifth of the list to begin and partly because they are part my past, my childhood, and even my everyday life. They got stuck with me as I got stuck with them. Those are not relationships I chose any more than any of us choose our families of origin. I love them and value them, but this is a list of people I choose to be in my life.
I also took the immediate family out. My wife, my true North, who keeps me grounded, didn’t make the list. Neither did the children. I love them with my whole heart but I put them in a category all their own. I would be lost without them and they know that. They are on the list in my wallet of people who I pray for every day, but they didn’t make the cut for this list.
So who did? Well, there’s people from the Wilmington chapter of my life on whom I still depend for friendship and kindness and honesty: Fr. Joe, Jen, Joe, Hummy, Karen, Bridget, Sr. John Elizabeth, Mary, Madeline, Ruthie, Vanessa, Mark, and Kelly. These are the people that moved with me virtually when that chapter of my life wrapped up in 2015.
There are even a few from the first chapter of my professional career in Knoxville with whom my life would be empty. There’s Susie, Marcy, Madelon, Regan, Sam, Dana, Kathleen, and all their extended families I cherish.
Chapter three began in January 2016 and includes Patrick, Pat, Bp. Frank, Brian, Debbie, Elizabeth, Anne, Sr. Mary Grace, Tracy, Erin, and all those who welcomed me to New England and introduced me to people like Valerie, Liz, Msgr. P, Father K, Eleanor, Nancy, Pat, Carol, Sue, Diane, Elaine, and the many, many people for whom ministry in the Church is more than a job.
There are the women of the Church like Charlotte, Ela, Marlene, Kathryn, Christine, Kathy, Cindy, and Brigitte (among others named above), who teach me each time I talk to them something new about the world and how we can each make it better.
Wrapping up the list are all those who cross from chapter into chapter, people I bring with me along the journey because of the bond we share and the experiences that bring us together. Here’s looking at you, Steve, Tony, Jose, John, Declan, Michael, Scott, Mark, and Robert. You have my respect and my undying gratitude for your example of faith and wisdom.
In case you’re counting, that’s more than fifty. I could probably go through and delete a few people, but it’s my birthday and my list, so I’ll pass. I could also keep going and list Bill and Mary Beth, Bob and Kathy, Barry and Regina, Amy and Mike, and all those couples who continue to help my family navigate the challenges of growing up, moving, and putting down roots.
The reality is this: I am blessed – more than I know and probably more than I deserve. God’s grace is limitless, unmerited, and overflowing. It’s easy to miss that in these days of uncertainty. It is easy to get nervous and impatient and begin to wonder what will happen next. Yet there is comfort in not knowing, I think. It makes us cling to that whom we do know and trust and love.
Panic makes us mean. Not knowing makes us nervous. Uncertainty can make us selfish.
But each of us are surrounded with many more than fifty people who are only a phone call or text away. Find someone in these coming days to pray with, to pray for, and with whom you can share your uncertainty.
And remember, my friends, that we never know what tomorrow will bring, but the old adage is right: we know who brings tomorrow.
That’s where I find peace.
Have a good week and wash your hands.