Those of us in ministry have gotten used to ratios. We know how many adults need to chaperone a field trip. We know how many young people we can invite to something before we start recruiting more cleared adults. As parents, we know what to ask when our children are invited to parties about the number of adults who might be present.
Chap Clark, author of great books like Sticky Faith turned the ratios around about 15 years ago when he first suggested that every child needs five adults investing in their lives. In a 2004 article in Decision Magazine, he wrote, “Here’s the bottom line: every kid needs five adult fans. Any young person who shows any interest in Christ needs a minimum of five people of various ages who will say, ‘I’m going to love that kid until they are fully walking as an adult member of this congregation.’”
Substitute “congregation” for “parish,” “faith community,” or even “family” and you start to see what could happen if each of our children are guided by responsible adults until they themselves can guide others. Pope Francis calls it “accompaniment.” The latest research shows that young people who have five such adults are three times more likely to live happy, healthier, more Spirit-filled, God-centered lives.
Kara Powell, who gave a great presentation at the National Conference on Catholic Youth Ministry, which Maureen helped coordinate and from which I just returned, mentioned this ratio in her talk. It got Maureen and I thinking: “Who are the five adults, outside mom and dad and grandparents, who will accompany our children?” Some of the answers came quickly. There’s Mary and Madeline. Vanessa and Fr. Joe. Charlotte. Mrs. Brady from school. Patrick from work. Mr. Mark who makes great pancakes. Aunt Cathy on dad’s side. Kathleen in England.
There are others too. But those are our answers. That’s our list.
This Advent we will sit down and make lists with the children. Who are the adults in their lives they want on their list? Who do they want to walk beside? Who do they admire in faithfulness? Who will accompany them on their journey to and with Christ? My guess is that the lists will have overlapping names and that they will name people mom and dad haven’t even thought about.
I think we all need a list. I think we all need guides – at any age. So this week, make your own list. Write it down. Then tell those people you are counting on them to lead you to Christ. But be forewarned. You might be on someone’s list too.
Let us pray together that we share in the responsibility to carry one another to the manger, to the Temple, to the garden, to the cross, and to the empty tomb.
May your week be blessed.