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Waiting

We have lots of projects at home that are almost finished.

The sunroom is waiting for trim around the windows and tile around the doors. The attic is waiting for the access door for the under-the-eaves storage and trim around the baseboards. The basement is waiting for trim and a few doors. All of them are waiting for funding.

But the important pieces are together. We made a conscious decision when we moved in that the first projects we would tackle would be the ones that benefited the kids most. The sunroom and attic only got tossed in because, let’s face it, when you have the guy here doing windows in one room, he might as well do both rooms. Same for the drywall guy.

Maureen and I will frame a room without hesitation. We’ll even insulate and conquer the electricity. Our good friend Fr. Joe comes to visit and we put him to work with a drill. But doing drywall is an art and we have a guy, Yves, who does it like no other. Unfortunately, that means he also is booked way in advance. We have used a substitute for some other projects and always end up going back to Yves. So this time we are waiting for him, at least for the pieces of drywall needed around the windows in the sunroom.

But the basement has come together nicely. Fr. Joe and I hung the screen a few weeks ago and we wired all the speakers before we put the walls up, so those are finished too. The carpet went in a few weeks ago and this weekend we painted the shelving we built and unpacked the rest of the toys. With the unpacking of the Tonka trucks and Fisher Price Little People houses, airports, and village, the seven year old announced, “Finally, it’s our basement.”

They waited a long time to unpack their toys and since the toys are filled the shelves, I announced there is really no room for any new ones, so Christmas should be easy. That was not well received.

Still, for Christmas in our new house we have adopted a new tradition. Four gifts: one thing you want, one thing you need, one thing you wear, and one thing you read. The kids have had a great time narrowing the choices down and discerning between “need” and “want” – (i.e., “You want a puppy. You don’t need a puppy.”)

We are still in negotiations about whether Santa will bring an additional gift. Since dad tends to buy anytime there is a sale and then store things in a closet, Santa’s chances are looking good.

When all was done and we settled down to watch a Sunday night (extra) movie, the eldest child commented that Advent should be easy for us. It’s been a year of waiting. Waiting for house, waiting to be reunited, waiting for rooms to be ready, waiting to unpack, waiting for people to visit. There are still many boxes to go and not enough pictures on the wall to satisfy all the children, but we are still sorting out furniture and what goes where. It seems that the waiting will continue.

May your week be blessed and your Advent patience be abundant.

 

 

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Holes

The children wanted to dig a hole in the backyard this weekend.

“Why?” I asked.

“Because. It’s a big yard. It needs a hole.”

“Don’t you remember digging holes when you were a kid?” My wife asks.

I honestly don’t.

I remember tying the wagon to my bike and going on imaginary trips. My maternal grandmother would even mail her paper boarding pass to me so I could use them when I pretended to travel. I still have one tucked away in a book somewhere. It serves as a memento of a generation passed.

I remember being younger and having absolutely nothing to do. Of course, you dare not admit this boredom for fear of being overheard and the avalanche of chores that might follow.

I remember putting fireflies in jars.

I remembering eating tons of ice cream and not getting an upset stomach and I remember drinking a coke and still being able to fall asleep.

I remember riding my bike until it was dark and walking to McDonald’s with my brother.

But I don’t remember digging holes.

Still, at some point this weekend I paused from the home construction project I wanted to get done and looked out in the yard. There were the children, digging a hole. I found myself unconsciously humming a song I heard once upon a time. The song is “Eulogy” by The Hereafter and, though I have no idea of its origin, I love these lyrics:

Let’s pretend that we can still pretend/Let’s pretend that we are young again/I am only looking for a friend/Let’s pretend that we are young again.

As I hummed the tune, I wandered out to the yard. The kids were so proud. So dirty. So happy.

And I had to admit. It was an impressive hole.

This week remember what gave you joy when you were kid. Hitch your wagon to your bike. Smile more. Email less. Put down the phone. Catch a firefly.

Dig a hole.

 

 

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Rough Weekend

Maureen was away for seven days and usually the time the kids and I spend together in her absence is filled with waffles and ice cream or a double feature for movie night. None of that happened this weekend.

The week was filled with homework and soccer practice and was enjoyable and largely uneventful until Friday afternoon. We hit Home Depot for few things, including light bulbs. As we unpacked our items, child number three decided he could reach the counter from the door and threw the bag, including the light bulbs. The light bulbs didn’t make it.

Friday evening child number one got pizza out of the basement freezer and never shut the freezer door. Her error was discovered fifteen minutes before we were leaving for soccer game number one.

We lost the game. It was as if fate knew that’s how it should be.

Fast trip home between games to clean the house for two friends arriving this weekend for a visit only to find child number two and four sitting among their piles of messiness reading, not cleaning, just reading.

“Daddy never cries,” they told Mommy when she got home.

I don’t babysit my children. I parent them. Unlike some men, I am proud to say that I can manage when my wife has to travel.

Still, what a welcomed sight for all of us when she returned home Sunday afternoon.

One can be strong. Two, leaning on each other, are even stronger.

May your week be blessed.

 

 

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Calm Amidst The Storm

A friend told me that it takes a year to really move. A year to get settled. A year to feel at home.

As the son of a military officer, he moved around a lot as a child and young adult, so I remember thinking he must know what he is talking about. Still, I thought, it will not take us that long. Being together is what counts and it will feel like home quickly.

My friend was right.

Sure, the house feels like home some of the time. But there is a restlessness that is shared by the children and the parents as the projects continue. The basement is off limits as our first project of preparing the playroom and movie area is stalled. The walls are framed and the drywall is hung, but the rest of it is waiting for the whole house air conditioning to be installed, which had to wait until the bank gave the okay, which waited for the estimates and paperwork.

So we moved the Legos to the sunroom to give the children some space to play. Then the sunroom project of new walls, windows, and a sliding door forced the Legos to move to the dining room table. To save money, we let the company schedule us whenever they wanted so when they arrive and say, “It’s time,” we moved. The sunroom will not be finished until the insulation and drywall go in, but to save money, the insulation crew is waiting to come out until it’s time to do the attic, which cannot happen until the air conditioning is installed.

Champagne problems, to be sure.

Still, there is a restlessness as movie night is moved to the master bedroom and we crowd into the bed and argue over who sits where. There is restlessness as we squeeze into the kitchen to eat dinner, having surrendered the dining room to the Legos. There is dust everywhere.

Thankfully, the heat has abated and the windows are open, cooling the house. Boxes and toys are still unpacked as they are moved from room to room. Books litter the floors as I try to catch up on writing. Amazon keeps delivering boxes for projects that have to wait for the weekend or other pieces of the puzzle to be completed. We would use the garage for some larger things but the doors are broken and do not open. They, too, are on the list.

Then, in the midst of the craziness, we look out the window and see the deer that wander through our yard. They like to eat the Hostas, but since landscaping is on next year’s list, they can only wander through our yard to see what the neighbor’s have to offer.

But in the stillness we stand silent. We stare out the window knowing that any little noise will scare them off. In hushed tones we huddle at the window and talk about how pretty, how small, how tall, how majestic, how quiet, how everything they are…

We stand in our home together and watch.

The stillness is interrupted by the rapping on the door.

“Why is that person knocking so loudly?” I ask no one in particular.

“Oh, yeah,” comes the response. “The doorbell is broken.”

(Sigh)

“It will take a year,” I tell myself, “It will take a year.”