Posted on

Happy Heart Day

Nothing is more practical than
finding God, than
falling in Love
in a quite absolute, final way.
What you are in love with,
what seizes your imagination, will affect everything.
It will decide
what will get you out of bed in the morning,
what you do with your evenings,
how you spend your weekends,
what you read, whom you know,
what breaks your heart,
and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.
Fall in Love, stay in love,
and it will decide everything.

Often attributed to Fr. Pedro Arrupe, SJ (1907-1991), but actually written by Fr. Joseph Whelan, SJ. From “Finding God in All Things: A Marquette Prayer Book, 2009 Marquette University.

Posted on

Skipping Nothing

Some theologians tell us that Easter is the most important feast of the Church year. In some ways that is true. However, people, believers and nonbelievers alike, celebrate Christmas far more widely and with far greater joy.

Is this simply because Christmas is about motherhood, the birth of a child, innocence, and love? After all, these are at the heart of human life. Yet most of us would find it hard to identify with rising from the darkness of the tomb. Maybe that is the difference. But perhaps there is more, a lot more. Perhaps we are more deeply in touch with an abstract idea we call the Incarnation than we realize. It could be that something deep inside us knows what “the Word made Flesh” really means.

From the moment God breathed God’s life-giving spirit over the darkness of the void and brought creation to life, God spoke to people. Through giants like Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, Deborah, Jeremiah, Isaiah, the psalmists, God gave us the words of life.

But, on Christmas day, the living Word of God came into the world. Mary gave birth to the Son of God. In this Jesus, God communicated most eloquently with God’s people. In this Jesus, God held children. God met with skeptics and dined with outcasts. In Jesus, God talked, listened. God wept over the dead Lazarus. God touched the leper. God put mud and spittle on the blind man’s eyes and healed him. Through Jesus, God entered the cycle of human life and unswervingly walked its path to the end.

Perhaps Christmas is so touching because God skipped nothing, not the frantic eruption of birth nor the numbing moment of death. God came to be one of us.

Perhaps the gift-giving of Christmas, the outpouring of love we lavish on one another, echoes the final message this God-Made-Man spoke through human flesh: “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you” (John 15:12).

Maybe this feast opens the door to some inner cell of our hearts where we imprison the Word that tells us that now we must be the arms of God surrounding the little ones; that we must be God’s voice to speak and God’s ears to listen; that we must weep God’s tears; that we must be God’s healing hands; that we must be Jesus in our times and in our culture. the power of this truth escapes and, at least for a few moments, warms up the coldness of our world.

It is indeed up to the twenty-first-century Christians to give birth to Jesus in their own time, their own culture, their own families. This is the heart of faith and life. And deep within us, we know it.

We feel it and so we celebrate.

Posted on

A Christmas Wish

I don’t know if you believe in Christmas
Or if you have presents underneath the Christmas tree
But if you believe in love, that will be more than enough
For you to come and celebrate with me
For I have held the precious gift that love brings
Even though I never saw a Christmas star
I know there is a light, I have felt it burn inside
And I have seen it shining from afar
Christmas is the time to come together
a time to put all differences aside
And I reach out my hand to the family of man
To share the joy I feel at Christmas time
For the truth that binds us all together
I would like to say a simple prayer
That at this special time
you will have true peace of mind
And love to last throughout the coming year
And if you believe in love, that will be more than enough
For peace to last throughout the coming year
And peace on earth will last throughout the year

I first heard these words, written by Danny Akken Wheetman and sung by Kermit the Frog, when Kermit and the Muppets joined John Denver on television for a Christmas special. It is a nice reminder that Christmas is bigger than any of us, than any single loss, or any collective issues we might share. For one day, at least, we can put peace first, let joy reign in our hearts, and pray that hope will spring anew. 

May the wonder and joy of that first Christmas be yours today and always.
-pjd
Posted on

Pause to Remember

Since we have been working at home for so long, today seems like just another day at home. I have a budget to prepare, calls to make, and work at home to do. But today is different. It should be different.  Today is more than hot dogs and hamburgers, beach passes and cutting the grass. It is more than the unofficial beginning of summer. Even without the parades and the large-scale gatherings at beaches and lakes, it should be different.

Today is one of those days to pause and remember.

We should remember why we enjoy the freedom to do the things we love to do. We should remember the sacrifice of someone’s daughter or son, sister or brother, mother, or father. We should remember that it was those sacrifices that give you and me the chance to vote for whomever we choose and then complain about the outcome. We get to speak our minds out loud without fear of recrimination and we get to worship wherever we choose, even if it is only outside or in small groups these days.

Freedom comes at a price. Following the Civil War, which claimed more lives than any conflict in our nation’s young history, our leaders were faced with the need for the country’s first national cemeteries. Within a few years, Americans in towns and cities began setting aside a day in late spring to pay tribute to the fallen, decorating their graves with flowers and praying for the dead.

As wars continued, so did the number of cemeteries. Decoration Day gave way to Memorial Day, which was established officially as a federal holiday in 1968 and first celebrated across the country in 1971.

So even if you do not have a chance to visit a cemetery and lay flowers at a grave, you and I can pause this day and give thanks for the brave women and men who offered, as President Lincoln called it, “the last full measure of devotion.”

We can be people of peace. We can speak kindly to a stranger, thank a veteran, fly the flag at our homes. We can pray in public, tell our children the stories of friends and family that served. We can enjoy the freedoms earned by another’s sacrifice.

And we can pray…

While the storm clouds gather far across the sea
Let us swear allegiance to a land that’s free
Let us all be grateful for a land so fair
As we raise our voices in a solemn prayer.

God bless America
Land that I love
Stand beside her and guide her
Thru the night with a light from above

From the mountains, to the prairies
To the oceans white with foam
God bless America
My home, sweet home

God bless America
My home, sweet home

May we all pause to remember those who had sacrificed so much that we may live in peace.

Posted on

Presidents’ Day

Let us pray…

Fondly do we hope, fervently do we pray, that this mighty scourge of war may speedily pass away. Yet if God wills that it continues… until every drop of blood drawn with the lash shall be paid another drawn with the sword… so still it must be said that the judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether.

With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation’s wounds, to care for him who shall have borne the battle, and for his widow and for his orphans, to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and a lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations.

President Abraham Lincoln
Second Inaugural Address
March 4, 1865

Posted on

Back to Life

Three of the children went back to school on Thursday. They did so begrudgingly. A long Christmas break afforded us the chance to build fires in the fireplace, play cards, eat meals at all times of the day, and watch more movies and shows than we normally would. We are not full-fledged fans of The Good Place and Brooklyn 99. We’ve seen movies about popes and another where nearly everything blows up. We cheered the Irish on in their bowl game and made plans for Easter break. We saw the new Star Wars, had a visit from our favorite priest, and even ventured to Baltimore to spend time with the cousins on Maureen’s side.

Today we are back to normal. The eldest went off to high school bright and early and Maureen drove to a meeting in Newark even earlier. I am back at work trying not to think of the books I started and never finished, not to mention all the decorations still adorning the house.

Vacations are a good time to rest and reconnect, but for us, they are also a great time for being together as one family unit. I know the days are numbered and that before too long, kids will have jobs and access to cars, college will soon follow, and we’ll trade one group of expenses for another.

For now, though, I will hold fast to the moments of sitting all together in front a show we enjoy, listening to the unbridled laughter of those around me. I will cherish the memory of Christmas morning, when we enjoyed the excitement of children – giddy that Santa has come – and yet still managed to sit quietly for a great breakfast on our new snowman plates. I will smile when I remember how child number three launches into the theme song for the cheesy movie he and I watched in our “guy time” –  a classic Disney flick in which a young Kurt Russell is shocked by a computer and is suddenly imbued with all the knowledge the machine contained. I am not sure which was more amazing to the child: the horrible song that someone actually had to sing (and that he continues to sing at random times) or the sheer size of the computer in the movie.

I will take comfort in the raw energy of the youngest, who will not walk across a room if she can flip, cartwheel or otherwise fly across it. I will be sustained by the second oldest, who sends more texts of love, hearts, hugs, and kisses than most children her age. The phone, for her, is not a way to move away from the family, but an opportunity to become even more connected to it.

And I will settle back to work knowing that the oldest, our ace number one, will be heading into exams soon and will need all the patience her parents can muster. Always the serious one, she surprised us all the other day when someone was giving Alexa a hard time. The so-called smart device was asked a simple question and could not seem to come up with an answer. Someone commented that it wasn’t that smart after all when suddenly, the eldest child chided us all, told us to be nice to the smart devices, and reminded us that when the robots turn on us, she’ll be remembered as having been nice to them.

Happy new year, everyone. May your time away from work and school – and the memories you made together – give you strength to journey onward.

At least until the next long weekend.

Posted on

Merry (early) Christmas

Merry Christmas a few days early.

This is the week when, for one day, all people, believers and nonbelievers alike, celebrate Christmas far more widely and with far greater joy than any other holiday or holy day.

Is this simply because Christmas is about motherhood, the birth of a child, innocence, and love? After all, these are at the heart of human life. I suppose it’s true that most of us would find it hard to identify with rising from the darkness of the tomb. Maybe that is why Christmas often has broader appeal than Easter. But perhaps there is more, a lot more. Perhaps we are more deeply in touch with an abstract idea we call the Incarnation than we realize. It could be that something deep inside us knows what “the Word made Flesh” really means.

From the moment God breathed God’s life-giving spirit over the darkness of the void and brought creation to life, God spoke to people. Through giants like Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, Deborah, Jeremiah, Isaiah, the psalmists, God gave us the words of life.

But, on Christmas day, the living Word of God came into the world. Mary gave birth to the Son of God. In this Jesus, God communicated most eloquently with God’s people. In this Jesus, God held children. God met with skeptics and dined with outcasts. In Jesus, God talked, listened. God wept over the dead Lazarus. God touched the leper. God put mud and spittle on the blind man’s eyes and healed him. Through Jesus, God entered the cycle of human life and unswervingly walked its path to the end.

Perhaps Christmas is so touching because God skipped nothing, not the frantic eruption of birth nor the numbing moment of death. God came to be one of us. One of us.

Perhaps the gift-giving of Christmas, the outpouring of love we lavish on one another, echoes the final message this God-Made-Man spoke through human flesh: “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you” (John 15:12).

Maybe this feast opens the door to some inner cell of our hearts where we imprison the Word that tells us that now we must be the arms of God surrounding the little ones; that we must be God’s voice to speak and God’s ears to listen; that we must weep God’s tears; that we must be God’s healing hands; that we must be Jesus in our times and in our culture. the power of this truth escapes and, at least for a few moments, warms up the coldness of our world.

It is indeed up to the twenty-first century Christians to give birth to Jesus in their own time, their own culture, their own families. This is the heart of faith and life. Each of us is an innkeeper. It is up to us to find room for Jesus.

Deep within us, we know it. We feel it and so we celebrate.

May that wonder and joy of that first Christmas be yours today and always.

Posted on

Blessings Abound

It is the week of Thanksgiving. A time for us to count our blessings, share a meal with those we love, and, I suppose, either shop for things we do not need or binge on football, parades, and commercials.

For me, the holiday started a week early. I had the great blessing of traveling with the children to the National Catholic Youth Conference in Indianapolis. My four joined 20,000 other young Catholics in praying, learning, singing, and lots and lots of walking. The journey and the conference were filled with many, many blessings. Here are just a few:

The right engine did not, it turns out, explode, catch on fire, or otherwise seize. It did, however, shut down after the fire extinguishing system emptied its contents onto what it suspected was a fire. The emergency landing at Dulles was exciting for the children, given the number of first responders that met the plane. The item “jumping off a plane onto one of those ramps” will have to remain on my bucket list.

The airline was incredibly courteous and professional, despite what the people in front of me say on social media (which is what they threatened when it became clear that the poor gate agent had clearly orchestrated the whole episode so she wouldn’t be bored…at least that’s the way the folks in front of us behaved).

We got to see some of the nation’s capital.

By the time we got to Pentagon City Mall, McDonald’s was still serving breakfast. Hotcakes for everyone.

We got to ride the metro for free because the guy said he loves seeing “good families traveling together.”

We landed safely in Indy – seven hours late – by safe!

The suite where we stayed was enormous (t helps that Maureen is in charge of the conference).

Nothing quite compares to the site of 20k+ young people singing praises to the Lord, then falling silent in prayer.

Ace number one spent the day “as a normal participant” and when the crowds got too much for her, she called (sorry mom) her father!!

The kids all got to drive golf carts when no one was looking.

I got to film more than 30 people for the Institute’s Lifelong Lessons project.

The kids met new friends, traded hats and buttons, and got to see For King and Country perform.

We hung out together, ate together, laughed together, and prayed together as a family.

We got to see our friend Father Joe from Wilmington and hang out with him.

We got to see so many people that have known the children since they were born, have been a part of the village raising them, and continue to be fixtures in their lives.

Liam got to spend time with the Feduccia boys.

We got to go to lunch with the team that pulled this conference together logistically and got to spend time with our friends Declan, Fran, Robert, and so many more.

We got to see a special message from Pope Francis to the attendees and hear his words of challenge to take the Gospel message out into the world.

We prayed with and for our friends – especially Marlene and Mr. Steve – who recently lost their fathers.

We celebrated Mass with Archbishop Thompson from Indy who challenged us – again and again – to call out to the world: “Viva Christo Rey!” — “Long Live Christ the King!”

The children learned first-hand what all these months of mom being so busy, not sleeping, working in the car, working at all hours, and travelling hither and yon have been about – and are so incredibly proud of what she and the team pulled off.

We landed safely home after a completely boring, uneventful, on time flight.

May your week be filled with rest, non-eventful travel, and many, many blessings.

Posted on

Memorial Day

It would easy – too easy – to lose sight of why we take the day off from work today. Between hot dogs and hamburgers, beach passes, and cutting the grass, today marks the unofficial beginning of summer. Many of us will stand along streets to watch parades, catch up on household chores, and spend time with family and friends.

But it’s important, too, to pause for a moment and remember why we enjoy the freedom to do the things we love to do. Thanks to the sacrifice of someone’s daughter or son, sister or brother, mother or father, you and I get to vote for whomever we choose and then complain about the outcome. We get to speak our mind out loud without fear of recrimination and we get to worship wherever we choose.

Freedom comes at a price. Following the Civil War, which claimed more lives than any conflict in our nation’s young history, our leaders were faced with the need for the country’s first national cemeteries. Within a few years, Americans in towns and cities began setting aside a day in late spring to pay tribute to the fallen, decorating their graves with flowers and praying for the dead.

As wars continued, so did the number of cemeteries. Decoration Day gave way to Memorial Day, which was established officially as a federal holiday in 1968 and first celebrated across the country in 1971.

So even if you do not have a chance to visit a cemetery and lay flowers at a grave, you and I can pause this day and give thanks for the brave women and men who offered, as President Lincoln called it, “the last full measure of devotion.”

You can be a person of peace. You can speak kindly to a stranger, thank a veteran, fly the flag at your home. You can pray in public, tell your children the stories of friends and family that served. You can enjoy the freedoms earned by another’s sacrifice.

And we can pray…

God of power and mercy,
you destroy war and put down earthly pride.
Banish violence from our midst and wipe away our tears,
that we may all deserve to be called your daughters and sons.
Keep in your mercy those men and women
who have died in the cause of freedom
and bring them safely
into your kingdom of justice and peace.
We ask this through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen

—from Catholic Household Blessings and Prayers

 

Posted on

A Thought For the New Year

Death and Life are in the Power of the Tongue
I’m sorry…I didn’t mean it
I take it back
Strike it from the record

What is as irreversible as murder, violates its victims more than theft, is as deadly as an epidemic? And is a lot closer to you than you want to think?

Gossip, slander, and thoughtless speech. Gossip is a million-dollar industry in our country today. We tend to think of it as a sport, harmless and fun. After all, it’s only words. We even have shows devoted to it.

As Christians, we are called to see it differently. Which is worse, we must ask, to steal from someone or to speak ill of someone? To defraud a person or to humiliate him? Answer: Property can be restored, but the damage done to another can never be undone. In fact, our Jewish ancestors compared slander and humiliation with murder: the destruction is irreparable and enduring.

You can’t take it back. What we say about each other is terribly powerful: words have a long, long half-life, and they can destroy in unseen, unhealable ways.

Our words are a footprint we leave for the world. What will they reveal about the way we treat our children, our parents, our friends, students, co-workers, employees? How we treat ourselves?

It’s a new year. Perhaps none of us will find a cure for cancer, or feed the world’s hungry, or bring about world peace. But nearly every day we find ourselves with someone’s reputation or sense of worth in our hands.

We can improve our world in a powerful, pervasive way; we can act as though our words had the power of life and death.

They do.

About this reflection

When I was a child, there was an advertisement in the Wall Street Journal with the headline and text above, though I have edited some of the text. The ad was in celebration of the Jewish New Year, I believe. My mother, wise as she was, cut it out and posted it on the refrigerator. If you said or did something that warranted further reflection, you got to stand in front of the full page of newsprint. In time, I had it memorized. When her children moved out of the house, my mother made sure we each got a copy. Mine hangs on the refrigerator and I can still say it by heart. We learn slowly as children…and sometimes more slowly as adults.

Happy New Year Mom. Happy New Year One and All.