Last year for Christmas, Santa gave child number three a keyboard. He had been taking keyboarding class and was getting pretty good. It was his “want” on our traditional list of “one thing you want, one this you need, one thing you wear, one thing you read” so Santa obliged and then Baby New Year gave him headphones on behalf of the rest of the family.
This year, his “want” was a piano and while no one was in a hurry to oblige (“Sleighs are not that big, kid”), the request started some conversations amidst the ongoing construction in the house. I even took him to a local piano shop to see if he could really play. Turns out the kid’s not half bad.
Then, several weeks ago, I received an email to my office address. The person identified herself as Lina and said she had taken a workshop with me last year for liturgical formation, but that I probably would not remember her. She was right. There were 110 sessions with more than 4,000 people and even with a unique name, I hadn’t a clue who she was. But her dad had died and she was looking for a home for a baby grand piano. She sent pictures, made a connection with the moving company, and left it up to us.
I checked out the moving company online, called to get an estimate, and asked that they send us an invoice. When the invoice for $780 came in, we paid it and made arrangements for the baby grand to arrive while Liam was at school.
Now I should pause here to say that Lina was the second person in a year to email about a piano. The first piano went to the diocesan youth choir for their practice sessions. Since I work for the church, it’s often the first place folks contact for pianos, religious objects, or statues from grandma’s yard. I do what I can to find new homes for that which folks leave behind.
But Lina wasn’t real. The whole thing was a scam. The moving company, complete with a flashy website, did not exist. When the piano did not arrive as scheduled, it occurred to me that perhaps we’d been had, so I started calling and emailing and texting and doing some online research. I even called other moving companies in the area (Johnson City, TN) to find out if they had ever heard of this company. “Nope,” came the response that sent my stomach lurching.
Angry, I called the bank. Here’s where the real warning comes in for all of you that use online banking. About a month before this happened, Chase sent me an alert to confirm my email address so that, within their app, I could use a feature called Zelle to instantly pay someone. Like most notifications in the mobile apps these days, I made a mental note to come back to the app at another time to do that.
But since Chase had mentioned Zelle, I recognized the feature when the movers asked me to use it to pay the $780 moving fee. I had logged into my Chase app, pressed Zelle, entered the mover’s information and sent the money. Within an hour, I got the receipt and the next day we got a confirmation email with the delivery date.
When the piano didn’t arrive and I went back to Chase. They initially sent me to their fraud division. I had already filed a complaint with the police and the Internet Crimes Division, so I thought I was on sound footing.
Chase responded by saying that I was a fool for using Zelle. They actually used the word, “foolish.” I hung up thinking, “I hope someone really is monitoring those calls for customer service because that was pretty bad.”
“But Zelle is in your app,” I told them. “I would not have known about it unless you had emailed me to verify my email.”
“We offer it, but we don’t protect you when you use it,” came the response.
It turns out that Zelle was created by a group of banks to compete with Venmo, another app that lets you pay people like babysitters, friends you share a pizza with, etc. If you download and open Zelle on its own, there is a giant warning that tells you not to pay someone you do not know. The banks, however, have disabled that warning. By their own admission, the folks at Chase told me that they feature it in their app to drive people to their app and, “as a courtesy to their clients.”
Now I am a pretty smart guy and at this point, I am feeling really stupid. Maureen said I was blinded by a desire to make my son’s life a little better, knowing that his struggle with diabetes has been a real pain for him. But all I could think of was that I should have realized that Lina was playing me and for days, I beat myself up for falling for the scam.
Chase Bank and it’s whole Zelle trap really ticked me off too. We are in the midst of moving our payroll deposits to another bank and closing our accounts. Banking intuitions that knowingly set up their customers to use services that are not protected from fraud should have gone the way of savings and loans by now. (By the way, I also contacted Zelle directly and they never even had the courtesy to respond).
Even writing about it makes my blood boil. I spoke with a priest friend about trying to pray for Lina, the movers, the bankers, and all the other players, but what I really wanted to do was sign them all up for Scientology emails so they are bombarded from now until L. Ron Hubbard returns.
A few weeks after all this happened, a friend told me of an estate auction about two towns away. I knew the person running it and asked if there was anything worth looking at. “Well, there’s a baby grand…” I laughed. She didn’t know the story so I asked some more questions, talked it over with the family, and placed a bid. By this point, I had confessed to the scam, if only to let them share in my anger.
We won the baby grand for $200. It is gorgeous, plays beautifully, and cost $450 to move. It arrived a week or so ago and when my son walked in the room, he was overwhelmed. All the kids play it and, though it has no headphones, we are getting used to the sound bouncing off the empty kitchen walls. It’s not what we needed in our house at this moment, but it is what we needed in our lives.
The irony that the fake piano cost me more than the real piano is not lost on me. I try not to look at Betty (yes, the piano has a name) and resent the lost money. It’s not her fault.
It’s Lina’s.
And the mover’s.
And the bank’s.
And, most of all, it’s mine.
So buyer beware this Christmas. Avoid Zelle unless the person is standing six feet away from you and you can tell who they are even with their mask on. Avoid Chase and banks that don’t have your best interest at heart. And avoid being too trusting until you verify that what you are getting is real.
In the meantime, have a blessed Thanksgiving.