One of our priests gave a presentation the other day at an all-employee meeting. I didn’t pay attention to most of it, to be honest. My mind was on the list of things I had to do and the many things I had failed to do. But at some point, I must have paid attention, because I heard him say that, as a priest, he spends a great deal of time telling couples that he is on their side.
“As a shepherd, a guide, a companion… I am on your side. That is why I became a priest.” It struck me that there are some priests and deacons who have forgotten that, some faith formation leaders who have forgotten that, and many, many others who may never have thought of it.
As a parent, it shook me. I wanted to leave that place and run home to my children to let them know that I was on their side. Always.
When I fuss at you for leaving an assignment to to the last minutes.
When I yell because you have a pile of dishes in your room and we are out of forks in the kitchen.
When I tell you to turn off the lights and go to bed.
When I wake you up to go to Church, even though I know you babysat until after midnight.
When I tell you, “no.”
When I ask for your help and it is a rhetorical question.
I am on your side.
When I question whether something you think is the end of the world is actually that big of a deal.
When I look at your social media posts on your phone and ask you to edit or delete them.
When I challenge you, encourage you, comfort you, and conspire with you,
When I ask about grades or missing assignments, or how your day was,
I am on your side.
Being a teenager is hard enough. Being a teenager in this culture, with your access to excess in the palm of your hand, can be overwhelming. Life is hard. Love is messy. And telling you that it will all be okay sounds like a myth when you feel the world closing in around you.
But through it all – in the darkness and the light – I am on your side.
That’s my job. That’s my blessing. That’s my reality. It happened the moment we discovered you were on the way and the center of my life suddenly existed outside myself. It’s a basic change in position, St. Paul would say. A shift in focus. From inside to outside to your side.
Always.